Sprinkle your goodness everywhere you go

Pretend you have two mason jars…

One of the mason jars is filled with all the bad things going wrong in your life and everything you wish you can change. The other mason jar is filled with all of the great things in your life and all the things to look forward to.

Now, which one is overflowing? If the mason jar of all the bad things is overflowing, leave it. If you can close that mason jar easily, close it and leave it off to the side.

Now the good jar… is it overflowing? Why isn’t it? Is it doubt? Is it despair? Is it because you’re afraid to enjoy things more our of fear? Or worry? Or pain? Or even angst? Stop.

I can guarantee you that your bad jar of stuff, people would kill to have, even with it overflowing. Because I can guarantee that the bad jar of all that junk that’s making you worried and keeping you up at night, DOES NOT MATTER!

Which leads me into my own perspective.

I am 29 years old. I am currently unemployed. I have a forever health condition that’s under control and has been for the last 23 years. My family is healthy. I have a very stable and loving relationship with a man that I know I will end up marrying. I still have goodness in my heart and the kindness in my soul. I am able to go places and do what I want, when I want without being restrained. I am alive. I am breathing. I still have all the feelings of a human being. But I am not the norm for a 29 year old. Why? Because its other people’s perspectives and timelines that tell me my bad unfortunate circumstances have left me unemployed and unable to provide for myself financially.

I will continue to struggle, to hope, to live the best way I know I can. And I’m going to enjoy my life and not allow doubt, fear, pain, disgust and regrets keep me from achieving that. Worrying is just Anarchy. Don’t let that “bad” mason jar of stuff and things that do not matter anymore keep you from enjoying that good mason jar of joy and laughter and adventures. Let that good jar be the one that is overflowing. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should be doing, where you need to be. It’s your life and it’s okay if you don’t have things together or never will.

When you treat people around you with respect and love and take care of those people who stick by your side through what you deem to be unfavorable, then you’ve won at life. We are all busy on this merry go round of life that we stop to appreciate the seconds that are wasted away just from worrying, from being afraid and from truly living your life.

From personal experience, it takes me so much longer than anyone I’ve ever known to have great things happen for me. It’s just the way it is. I’ve come to accept it over the last year and a half. Find the people who see the sunflowers in you and keep them around. Be grateful for the overwhelmingly good things happening in your life and don’t worry about the rest.

I always think about the people who have it so much worse than I do like young woman who just got told her chemotheraphy for her leukemia didn’t work and now the cancer has invaded more organs and there’s not much more they can do, except to make her comfortable. Now that’s a huge problem and that’s just one example of the worst possible outcome.

So I don’t have a job right now? So I don’t know after all the time what I want to do with my life? SO WHAT? I am loved, I am safe, I am happy with the little things because they add up to the big things. My life is a merry go round of could have, should have, would haves but I will not let those doubts and regrets overtake the goodness of my well being. I will continue, as always, to fight and to keep on fighting, even if I do have to start over every single day.

Let the mason jar of the good be the one that’s overflowing. Don’t allow people being complete jack*sses to you inflict any pain or discomfort on your life. They aren’t worth it.

In a little over a week, I get to see my godson graduate high school. The last time I saw him was when he was two years old. I am elated to see him, to see him achieve such a great circumstance in his life and go onto college and to have a relationship with him that was missed out on for too many years, mostly because I was 13 years old when I was asked to be his godmother and didn’t even realize the responsibilities lol I am happy to be apart of his day and looking forward to seeing him continue growing as a wonderful young man in this very nutty world.

There are so many great things happening this summer as well and I am looking forward to all the memories, the laughing, the pictures, the hope for better, which is really all I could ask for.

Thank you to my One for never failing to stand by my side, for forever making me laugh and giving me so much to look forward to.

I am thankful that my blessings are bigger than my problems.

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