I can’t believe he picked me

A lot of my blog has been about love, finding the right one, not taking shit from anyone and being the best you can be.

This post is dedicated to those who are still trying to find their one. It took me 27 years to find mine and I still cannot believe he has picked me every single day for the last year and a half.

Life is so short. I wish he and I were able to live forever but I do know that our love will live beyond forever. And if I can’t get a single thing right, he is what I got right. I got so lucky to have him in my life. And I think about all the people who miss out on that one opportunity to find their soulmate. That one chance to go out on a date, or take a phone call or even answer back a text. I think of all of you and hope you find the one you’re meant to be with. Because it truly is what makes life worth everything hard you’ve ever been through.

I was looking through all the pictures and videos from the last year and a half to make a video for our anniversary and I am so happy I have all of these incredible memories to look back on… most of the time cry laughing because they were so funny. And in every single picture, my face is lit up in pure joy.

A scary thing happened to me about two weekends ago. I texted him basically telling him how much I loved him because I was really starting to get nervous I would not make it out of the situation I was in. I was very, very sick and probably needed to go to the hospital. I was holding up calling the ambulance terrified that someone else would have control over me consciously and I was not having it. I called him up at 5 in the morning and he came to be with me and he stayed, no questions asked. Luckily, I began to feel better, didn’t need to go to the hospital, but my life was changed.

He is what I was chasing after for so many years. For years, I was chasing after people who could care less about me but I cared so much about them and even tried to change who I truly was to fit their mold. And then there’s my boyfriend, my sweet sweet boyfriend. He makes terrible decisions sometimes, most of the time not even at all and I get so angry at him for not being ambitious enough or not trying harder but he is my soulmate and He’s better than any person I have ever known. I know one day things will fit into place.

I know he’s reading this now and hope he has a smile on his face. Thank you honey for being you. For not making decisions and for being a pain in the ass and for making me so mad sometimes I say I’m gonna walk away, but there you are, walking behind me. I could never walk away from you and the foundation we have built together. You’re a part of me and a part of my soul. I don’t care if we live in a shoebox for the rest of our lives. I just want to live with you honey. So we need to get that straightened out. We need to travel the world together honey. Take more pictures and see things not many people get to witness. Because you’ve given me something many people don’t get to experience…. you’ve given me true, unconditional, thinks I am beautiful, laughing until my face hurts or I’m crying, coffee dates all the time, waking up extra early to watch the sunrise type of love.

You’re it for me. If it takes another 10 years until we get married then whatever. I just want to be with you. I’m terrified to lose you but I guess that’s the sucky thing when you fall in love with someone. You stand by them through everything, the good and the ugly, the laughter and the darkness.

So thank you honey for choosing me every single day.

To those out there who are waiting for their soulmate, I promise you that it’ll happen. Don’t settle. Live well. And if you’re one of the lucky ones, your soul will hurt a little less than all the damage that’s been done to it being with the right person you’re meant to be with.

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